PART5:HOW TO GET MARRIED AT 25; The Incomplete guide!

Part 5: Kwanjula…To Be Or Not to Be?

That is the question!

Is there a word for being perplexed, bewildered, flabbergasted, hypnotised and in limbo all at the same time?

During our kwanjula, I must have been HYPNOWILDERFLABBERLIMBOPLEXED!! No kidding!

(“Kwanjula” is the official Buganda cultural marriage ceremony, where the clan expresses their consent to a marriage.

 It is usually referred to as The Introduction. There’s a couple of other ceremonies; kukyala, kasuze katya.

And other cultures have their own thing… Kuhingira…ku...That’s not the point today though.)

Maybe it was because they asked me for hoes and cows, and yet the closest I’d ever come to owning cattle was a couple of goats. Maybe it’s because someone threw a spanner…no wait…. a grenade in the works, then it became some kind of obstacle to the wedding.

We had everything planned out to the very last detail; dates and all, had contacted every last person who had to be contacted (or so we thought).  We even had the introduction slated for a week to the wedding, and our families were really not on board…yet. According to some people, they hadn’t been informed officially /traditionally. So we stalled! The kwanjula was pushed a few times before it actually happened.

All I know is we survived that damn grenade. Thank God. (Plus, we ate “malakwang” and “nwen”)

God

(See part 4)

This hasn’t changed. Everybody needs Grace and Love to take them through the twists and turns of life. Always tap into the Highest power.

Family

(See part 3.)

Something I didn’t say before. There is always the other way out. Do a civil wedding and skip this entire hullabaloo.

In my opinion, things to do with family and culture a lot of times have to do with honour.

“Respect is earned but honour is given.”

~Google is telling me this quote is by Craig Groeschel,

 but I honestly first heard this from Moses Mukisa

Stuff like unrealistic dowry, a few insensitive relatives (especially if they are your in-laws to be), random family fights and many other ordeals may possibly make you see family in another light; (a dark light). Whatever you do, always remember HONOUR.

If they raised your future spouse, they have earned that honour!

Meanwhile, it doesn’t always work out like that.

Research

(See part 3.)

I’m told that when you want to learn how to fly a plane; first you enroll for a “Bachelor of Business Administration” programme at any university, follow a few Photoshop and Illustrator tutorials on YouTube, paint a yellow donkey on your window and you’re good to go!

Easy as pie, right?

Do the math. Find people that know about your culture if you don’t. If you can, in life, always make informed decisions.

This is something I’ve got to learn myself!

Plan

(See part 4)

(that’s if you’re having one.)

I’ll just leave that there.

What’s it costing you? Blah blah blah…

Be happy

“There are only two ways to live your life.

One is as though nothing is a miracle.

The other is as though everything is a miracle.”

~Albert Einstein

It’s really your choice. You can go ahead and see the whole process (of anything really) as a fire walk through hell, or as simply your victory lap. Potato vs. Patato!

I realize it’s taken me a while to respond to last week’s comments. Can you imagine!

Anyway, I am so working on that Vlog thing.

Also thank you for taking the time to read through all this. You are the blessing. I am honoured!

See you next time! ...aaaaaand cut!

Source: Stock